Once you get married, you realize that it is no longer all about you. It’s meant to make you aware of yourself, and the more deeply you can grow, the more joy you will experience. So you don't have a bae? Comments In Channel. Marriage will not always make you happy, but it will do something even better. Here, you can listen to the full-length recording of their session. If you honestly can't imagine being with one person for the rest of your life, you might just not be meant for marriage. Report abuse. Marriage gives us our walking partners, not our paths. We do this because there’s comfort in the familiar and because the essential purpose of a long-term partnership is to assist us in growth. For me, everything in my life has been a spiritual experience from being raised in an alcoholic household, to marriage and teaching, and finally caring for an Alzheimer parent. Think of all the little things you used to do for your partner before you were married. The magic of marriage is that it’s not meant to make you feel happy in that dopamine-laced, movie-ending kind of way. Pretty good article. 32 people found this helpful. This isn’t because they’ve committed to the “wrong” person. Marriage won’t do the work for you. Who do you want to help you raise them? They can be the most enlightening medium for self-awareness. To put an expectation on someone else that their commitment to you is a commitment to keep you in a constant state of happiness, is fucking lunacy. Pinterest. It would be a disgrace to use a phrase like, “Marriage is Meant to make her Holy, not Happy,” an an excuse for selfish behavior. We are told to pursue happiness, follow our dreams, arrange our lives to avoid pain and increase pleasure, to esteem ourselves and make daily choices that will bring joy. Source: rawpixel.com. They exist to be companions — separate, but equal — at once our responsibility, and yet very much out of our control. We grow up thinking the hardest part will be finding the “right” person, who we assume will be the key to a happy life. Join Alyssa as she ponders this question as it applies to moments of bad traffic, tragedy, and daily toil. Simple questions turning into intense yelling matches. There are signs and plaques sold all over America, often bought for men to follow this advice as they enter marriage. Zero Intimacy physically, or emotionally. Posted Mar 15, 2013 Here, you can listen to the full-length recording of their session. The Difference Between Self-Discipline and Self-Denial, How Women Can Embrace Aging in a Youth-Obsessed Culture, How ‘In A Dark, Dark Room’ Made Me A Creep (Thank God). In other words, it’s what you do to foster happiness as an individual and a spouse that makes a difference, not marriage all by itself. View all posts by mysticheartsong. Marriage won’t do the work for you. Your life partner is an asset to you in the evolution of your becoming, but that partnership is not the whole of your becoming. Our interactions with others show us who we are, how we behave, and what we are doing. Rough spots don’t have to mean you’re doomed to spending a miserable lifetime together or that you’re headed for a divorce. Learn how your comment data is processed. Marriage is meant to be a long term union between two people who love and cherish each other. There are a lot of people out there that would continue to give the advice — “You have to do what makes you happy”. For example, if you’re better with numbers, don’t get angry when they misbalance the checkbook. Marriage Was Not Designed To Make You Happy | Black and Married With Kids.com - A Positive Image of Marriage and Family. It’s counterintuitive, but the less you expect marriage to make you happy, the more it will. If you are seeking to always make someone’s day better, then you will be happy. But, if we're not supposed to be happy, then why did Yogi Bhajan say "Happiness is our birthright?" Let's be honest: weddings are expensive, and it's not crazy to not want to spend your entire life's savings on one day.Considering the average wedding cost in the United States is a whopping $33,391—a nice chunk of a down payment on a home—deciding not to get married so you can keep your money in the bank is a smart move. Marriage will not always make you happy, but it will do something even better. But sometimes, people choose who they think they’ll be happiest with only to find out they are incorrect. I've learned that marriage is not meant to be easy or always joyful, but it is still one of the most amazing gifts of … View Larger Image. often say our failed relationships teach us more than anything else. When we can strip away the assumption they should be different from who they are, we find something beautiful underneath: harmony. And there are tons of old stereotypes which imply that if a man cheats, it's because his wife doesn't understand him, he's not happy in his marriage, or his sex life at home is lacking. I’m not denying that change should happen, at times. Marriage is hard. Byron & Francine Pirola discuss the purpose of marriage is this exerpt from The Marriage Kit, an online course hosted by The Stick Kit. We are a nation of matrimaniacs, and it seems like too many of us just can't get enough of studies claiming that married people win. But to have a happy marriage you have to accept your partner’s strengths and weaknesses and be able to set realistic expectations, says Ellen Chute, LMSW. The beauty of marriage is in the giving. You deserve to have an incredible marriage – one that brings you tremendous joy just like yours did in the beginning. Whether or not you are single, there are people who love you, but it can be hard to see sometimes. Learning to love them better is essential. We humans tend to have a shallow view of the word “gift” against the higher definition and purpose God has in mind. Marriage isn't for you. Instead, make it your job to set the budget. Sleeping in separate beds and rooms. T here are few things in society we’ve imbued with quite as much expectation and meaning as marriage. Saying “I do “ means that you are making a promise to your partner as you begin your journey together. We choose romantic partners through unconscious “love maps.” These are cues, ideas, and suggestions we pick up over time to piece together a concept of the right partner. Marriage is about what you do when you discover you can be with the most perfect person for you—and still find yourself frustrated, exhausted, dragged down, and at your wit’s end. I have sought at least fifteen, personal psychic readings to try and assist me as a wife, teacher and caretaker. Who do you want to help you raise them? 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